I am not a “baby person” just like I am not your typical “dog person”. I like my baby and other select babies just like I like my dogs and other select dogs. But please don’t be offended if I don’t ask to hold your tiny humans or pet your canine.
We intentionally waited 6 years to start having babies. We very much believe that was God’s timing for us and were Spirit-led in our decision to start having children.
To be totally honest, my heart was not ready to have children when we first got married. So much of what I had seen portrayed about motherhood by my generation deterred me. But I KNEW deep down in my soul that God designed motherhood to be GOOD, even glorious really, so if I was going to have what HE designed rather than settling for what I saw around me, I had to renew my mind and confront the lies.
Have I done everything perfectly? Nope. Am I mad at those who’s example deterred me from motherhood? Absolutely not. We are all in process of sanctification.
The sooner we have mercy for ourselves and others, the sooner we can move forward in the grace and victory that Jesus has for us.
So here are 7 lies about motherhood that I want to address and destroy with the truth.
You may not even be aware that these lies are impacting you, but when these lies come into the light of God’s truth, they lose power.
1. Pregnancy is miserable.
Nowhere in scripture does it say “pregnancy has to suck and you’ll be miserable for 9 months. Sorry boutcha.” But so often, it is what we have seen so it’s is what we accept. Jesus came to give us life, and life more abundantly, to the full, till it OVERFLOWS (John 10:10)
“He settles the childless woman in her home as a HAPPY mother of children." Psalm 113:9 Amp
Happy motherhood can begin with a happy pregnancy.
2. Your body will never be the same/those skinny jeans will never fit again.
This is a touchy subject and my intention is NOT to be offensive or rude, so please hear me out.
God designed the female body to be able to conceive, carry, and bring forth life, and THEN continue to be blessed, healthy, strong and vibrant. Having children does not have to be a death sentence on visible abs any more than smudging a Sharpie on your face has to mean a permanent splotch on your cheek. However, this is NOT to say that comparing your body and your season of life to the lady down the street or the model on Instagram is healthy. It’s not. But know that you CAN be fit, toned, strong and healthy before, during, and after giving birth.
Start by speaking life over your body instead of death. Instead of saying things like “Stupid baby weight.”, or “I’m so fat.” Start praising God that Christ redeemed you from sickness (Isaiah 53:4-5) Start calling your body strong and healthy and then do your part to treat your body well.
3. You will worry all the time.
Worry is always based in fear and fear is never from God (2 Tim 1:7). If I truly believe that God is capable of redeeming my spirit from hell, then I need to trust Him when He says my covenant with Him protects me and mine. Yes, we live on an earth with a curse and we have a real enemy who hates our guts and livers. But we also have a REAL Savior who defeated death, hell, and all its counterparts (Colossians 2:15). It is high time we start acting like it, talking like it, and walking in ALL that God has provided for us.
4. You will never sleep again
“In peace, I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8
If David, who was literally running for his life could sleep in peace, then surely, I can believe God for my baby and me to sleep peacefully through the night in our air-conditioned house with comfortable mattresses.
5. Your children will make the same mistakes you did
“Well I ____ (smoked, drank, had premarital sex, did drugs, went to jail, etc…) too, so I can’t say anything to them about it.” FALSE. The cross redeems us from our sin, shame, guilt, generational curses, and patterns of wrong behavior. If you have a less than stellar past, repent, receive God’s forgiveness and move on. God is not still holding you accountable for things that are now under the Blood of Christ, so it is time you stop, too. Be honest with your children or those you mentor about your mistakes and what you wish you had done differently, but don’t accept the lie that you have no right to speak truth in that area because you once messed up.
6. Your entire calling is wrapped up in raising children
Again, touchy subject, so please hear my heart:
I was called to be a follower of Christ and make disciples of all men LONG before I was married or gave birth to our daughter. That initial calling remains throughout the time that children live under our roof and continues long after. Yes, raising children is a PART of our God authored destiny, but not the entirety of it.
7. Childbirth is awful.
I truly believe that a supernaturally pain-free childbirth is possible (Psalm 127:3, Proverbs 10:22, Isaiah 53:4-6, Galatians 3:13) Is that what I had? Nope. But just because I haven’t seen it in my own life yet, does not mean that God didn’t make provision for it with the cross. (Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize is an excellent resource on this.) Why I didn’t have a pain free childbirth is honestly something that God is still speaking to me about. I am still in the process of renewing my mind about it. I have a few people in my life that HAVE had pain free childbirths, and you bet your boots I will be talking to them about it even more before we have more chitlins.
Pray with me,
Lord, I repent for adopting any lies about what motherhood has to look like, and for limiting myself and others. I believe that you came to give us life and life abundantly and that it’s for freedom that you have set us free. Show me any and all areas that I have settled for less than your best and lead me to truth through your Word and by Your Spirit. I love you, Lord.
In Jesus Name,