What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror?
What do you say in your head about your face with no makeup, your body with no clothes, your hair after a long sweaty day?
Do you pull at the wrinkles in despair, poke at the “extras” in disgust, or thickly cover all the imperfections?
You are not alone.
It doesn’t take a very thorough examination to realize that womanhood is not what it was meant to be. In general, women can be some of the most hateful and conniving of all God’s creations. Even taking a quick stroll through a celebrity’s social media account will reveal some of the most heartless and cruel comments spewed BY women at another woman. It’s sickening and heart-breaking all at the same time.
I will be honest. I have NOT always loved other women well.
I’ve never felt like I fit into many groups of women, let alone embraced many (if any) of what I felt were the stereotypical “girl” characteristics. I don’t cook. Hate to sew. I would rather punch stuff or do burpees than curl my hair. My idea of a good time usually involves dirt (possibly lots of it) messy animals, and very loud laughter. I have a handshake that catches most grown men off guard. I am very aggressive and confident by nature. For a LONG time I really didn’t like being a girl. I knew God made me a girl for a reason, so I tried not to complain too much, but I still wasn’t thrilled.
I think part of my dislike for being a girl stemmed from the fact that I was raised and surrounded by some incredibly strong women- which I LOVE -but what I saw and admired at home was vastly different than what I saw in society and the church.
Most of societies picture of femininity- especially that which I saw in the church- was such an awkward fit for me.
The world’s picture of the “ideal” women closely resembled either a seductress or a bitter, hateful female. And what I saw in most of the church and books by female Christian authors was so grossly fluffy and pink that it was all I could do to not rub dirt on it or punch it.
So you see my dilemma…
Whether you are a dirt loving, fluff-hating girl like me or prefer to do life covered in pink fru-fru and lace, allow me to share the revelation I’ve gained in this area.
What if, instead of further berating our sex, we looked closer at the cause of the brokenness and pain and started speaking life where there has been destruction and devastation.
You only speak hurtful things about other people where you believe painful lies about yourself.
Think back to fancy dances in high school. Prom and such.
All the girls tell each other all night how pretty they think the other girls are. It is standard operating procedure. I would say it was just “my generation” but I’ve spent enough time around teenagers in the past 12 years that I can tell you it’s still a thing.
All the girls get dressed up and done up. They each believe that they look beautiful(or at least “better than normal”) and consequently they are LAVISH with their complements.
But when I or one of my pals posts something on social media about believing that we are beautiful, there is almost guaranteed to be some comment that’s either downright nasty (“you’re so vain”) or something along the lines of “inner beauty is what matters most.” Which, obviously. You shouldn’t be Hannah Hater Pants on the inside and Miss America on the outside.
But why is it that we, especially Christian women, have such a hard time celebrating BOTH the inner AND outer beauty of our own?
Answer: I think very few of us TRULY believe, deep down in our bones, that we are beautiful.
This needs to change. It’s absolutely essential for us, as Christian women, HALF of the bride of Christ, to fulfill our assignments on this earth.
And I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say this:
Fulfilling our God authored destiny and making disciples of ALL nations will require us to walk boldly in our gifts AS A WOMAN. Not as a woman pretending to be a man or wishing she was a man and NOT as a woman who is self-conscious and believes that she is ugly.
Although the “self-love”, “body positivity” movements are good, nothing will get to the heart of the issue if it’s not founded on the unfailing truth of God’s word.
I truly believe that if we, as women, daughters of the Most-High King ever rise up, fully alive, fully confident in who God made us to be AS women, and truly believing that we ARE beautiful because God says so, the earth will never be the same.
All change, all lasting change to our identity and our self-worth MUST be founded on the Word of God.
I have put together a list of quotes and scriptures and God-talk (aka confessions) specific to this issue of loving ourselves and our bodies as women. You can download the full version below or keep scrolling for a shorter version if you aren't quite ready to join the tribe.
I encourage you to print or write these out. Post them on your mirror and speak them, declare them OUT LOUD over yourself and others. When our words begin to agree with what God says about us, powerful things begin to happen.
You are the answer to the very first problem. ~Lisa Bevere
You are never too much. You are always enough. ~ Stasi Eldrege
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Songs 4:7
James 1:18 TPT “God was delighted to give us birth by the truth of his infallible Word so that we would fulfill his chosen destiny for us and become the favorite ones out of all his creation!”
1 Corinthians 3:16 “Don’t you realize that together you have become God’s inner sanctuary and that the Spirit of God makes his permanent home in you?”
You, dear one, are beautiful. You are seen. You are known. You are accepted into the beloved. You have been given gifts and talents that the world needs to see in order to see a complete picture of our God.
You have a glory all your own to unveil because you were made in the image of our glorious King.